Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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