Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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