So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
