Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
