the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
