My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
