it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
