The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
