my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
