Porn is love you can see.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
