these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
