I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
