There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
