Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
