Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Randomize
