only if we run a train.
done.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
