so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Randomize
