ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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