we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
