highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
