Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
