her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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