i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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