the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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