He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
