her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
