I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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