Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
