playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
