I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I have post one night stand depression
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