It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
