I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Michael Bay diarrhea
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
