can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
