Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
