i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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