have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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