let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
