So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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