My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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