I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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