I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize