You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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