I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
