Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
