when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
