my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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