Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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