Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
