Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
