Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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