sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
