guys are not supposed to queef...right?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
